it's like this at night when my mind wanders into places that will never matter in the morning. places that i will forget i thought of in the morning other than to question why i stayed awake all night thinking of such inane things.

how i will compare the smell of new york to the smell of san francisco i will

rotate between the urine-slash-dry cleaning of downtown Manhattan and the urine-slash-ocean air of downtown San Francisco. My mind wraps itself around the ease with which one can walk in high-heels in New York yet look foolish wearing stilettos in bernal heights. how the village voice will be free again. how the bagels will be crunchy again. how people won't smile so much, how i will paint my lips red everytime i leave the house. how i will always remember to have money for a taxi. how i can actually get a taxi whenever i want simply by sticking my arm out.

but i love san francisco. but maybe i could love new york again this is all too much like relationships.